A week in the life of Watanuki
by Brobdingnagian Pseudonym
Summary: A series of mostly non-related one-shots through the eyes of Kimihiro Watanuki
1. Doctor Who

This will be a series of mostly non-related oneshots just a heads up. Updates will be few and infrequent, as I am already busy with my other few stories. Review if you can.

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The sun is just beginning to cast its light across the earth, and the birds are enthusiastically singing the same cheerful, lighthearted song they have sung yesterday and the day before. But hey, the ordinary song never seems to get old and not many people are awake to complain about it either way. You sure aren't hearing me complain. I'd take birdsong over the moaning of a spirit come to absorb me any day. But it's too early to start thinking about that, I have the rest of the day to get through. Plus a new job at the... What am I supposed to call it? A wish shop? A witchery? Whatever it is, it really creeps me out. And that Yuuko character. Ugh. I'm getting Goosebumps just thinking about her.

"Oh well, off to school." I sigh, before picking up my bag and walking out the door, ready to face a new day! Or as ready as I'll ever get I guess. How can you ever prepare yourself to venture out into the wide open world, filled with gruesome, grotesque spirits that no one else can see armed with nothing but... nothing.

{After school}

Whew! I've managed to make it through another school day still alive and relatively unscathed! I might have even managed to dodge total humiliation. It's actually much too late for that. I've been the class crazy since... I'm not sure... Since a long time ago. And I'll be a crazy for a long time to come. But if that witch-woman, Yuuko, can find a cure I might have a chance to be something other than a freak. I might even have a fighting chance with the goddess Himawari. Now where am I going? Where is my new job supposed to be? How did I get there before? I wasn't really paying attention when that monster attacked me, I was just trying to get away, I wasn't exactly paying attention to the street signs. I guess I don't have a choice other than to keep wandering and hope that I can find my way there. All these buildings look the same how could I possibly find it?

"Oh." Just after that thought passed through my head the shop appeared around the corner. Almost as if it were waiting for me to question my ability of finding it…. Best not over think it, I'll drive myself to insanity. Well, that is if I'm not already insane. After all I see creatures that no one else can on a daily basis, and just yesterday my feet carried me to a wish granting shop. Oh! Not to mention I'm now walking through the door of that same shop to start my first day of my new part time job.

"Watanuki! Watanuki! Born on april FIRST!" Those two creepy little devils chanted, dancing around me in an oddly symmetrical pattern. It's only a matter of time before _she_ finds me. "Watanuki! Watanuki! Born on april FIRST!" I'm going to end up getting that stupid chant stuck in my head.

"Ah Watanuki-kun! I was wondering when you would arrive! I hope you didn't have any trouble getting here!" The evil enchantress crooned, like a mermaid luring poor helpless sailors to their watery, salty death. In fact I could hear the whoosh of my own upcoming death by drowning. It sounded oddly mechanical though. "Would you mind making some desserts and maybe a few drinks? Thanks a million!"

"Bu-" I tried to protest but she was too quick for me.

"I wish I could stay and chat but I customer waiting for me! Ta ta!" She left as swiftly as she had arrived, blowing a kiss back at me. Before I had a chance to grumble about satanic bosses I was pulled away by said boss's minions to the kitchen.

"Desserts and drinks! Desserts and drinks!" They chanted cheerfully, acting like any children would at the mention of sugar. Aside from the speaking in unison part of course. As soon as I entered the kitchen I shooed them out the door. I couldn't have them getting in my way when I'm cooking. I could get distracted and ruin it. I can't get fired on my first day, it's practically against my religion.

"Jeez. When was the last time this kitchen was used?" I wondered aloud as I washed the dust out of several pots and pans. Everything had enough dust on it to plant a tree in and some of the cookware was even molded or rusty or even a nasty mixture of both. But I managed... eventually I created a whole sheet of cookie masterpieces and a pot of tea. I let Maru and Moro lead me to an ornate paper door, which I pushed aside to reveal Yuuko and a lanky englishman in a trenchcoat.

"Ah Watanuki-kun! Come, take a seat!" Yuuko laughed jovially, gesturing to the extra chair at the table. I hesitantly placed the plate of cookies and the teapot at the center of the table before taking a seat. He warily sized up the engishman, something about him seemed odd. Whether it was the unnaturally wide smile or the somewhat otherworldly aura about him or something else that he couldn't quite put his finger on.

"So, this is your new vict- uh customer?" I said, remembering the day I too sat in that chair. Which was literally yesterday.

"Yes, well not exactly. This is my old friend the Doctor, he's just visiting." Yuuko explained, taking a sip of the tea I had just finished brewing. The doctor... sounds suspicious. "Doctor this is Kimihiro Watanuki my new assistant." The 'doctor' nodded in acknowlegdement.

"Dr. what?" I asked him.

"Oh just the Doctor is fine." He, despite outward appearances, spoke perfect japanese. Just the Doctor? Doctor of what? "Or Doc, if you prefer. But not Tor. Tor just sounds stupid and a little prehistoric."

"I think I once had a customer named Tor. He wasn't the brightest fellow." Yuuko speculated, her perfectly sculpted eyebrow curved with spectulation. I wonder if this Tor also became her slave?

"I once had a run in with a civilization of Tors. I came this close to having my hearts devoured." Hearts? As in plural? Does he have more than one? Or perhaps he has a collection of the hearts of his 'patients'. Either way, I'm not sure I want to know.

"That's sounds just like you. More tea?"

"Yes please."

"So Doctor. Why have you come here to my shop?" She asked, after putting the teapot back on the table. I shifted nevously, feeling a bit out of place in the room.

"Do I need a reason to drop by and visit a friend?" He chuckled, grinning over the edge of his cup.

"No, but you never come here without one. Doctor." She purred almost seductively, before taking a sip of her tea. The Doctor's playful smile died down to a sad smirk.

"I'll admit none of my previous incarnations were ever good liars and neither am I." He sighed, mournfully. Jeez this guy just keeps getting freakier and freakier. "I know it's a wish impossible to grant but... I had to ask."

"I'll be the judge of the possible and impossible"

"I wish I... Wasn't the last. If only I wasn't completely alone, maybe I could get one night's sleep in peace. Maybe some of the weight would be taken from my shoulders. Maybe I wouldn't feel nearly as... Old." Suddenly it hit me. I'm not sure what made me realize, whether it was the odd shiver down my spine or the expression of pure lonliness. I saw that he wasn't human. He was probably the last of his kind. Maybe even saw the death of the rest of his kind.

"You're right. I can't grant that wish, but for a different reason then you might think." Yuuko replied cryptically, no doubt hiding an evil smirk behind that cookie.

"As I suspected." the Doctor sighed and rose from his chair. "Oh well, I've got universes to defend, time to set straight and a to do list longer than the beard of great magistrate Tyrudec of the star system of Wonju." He groaned and walked towards a large blue box that I didn't even realize was there.

"Yana! Doctor! Don't forget yana." Probably some sort of code word, best not to even ask. The Doctor waved lazily before disappearing into the box, and the box disappearing... Just plain disappearing.

"... Who was he?"

* * *

You

Are

Not

Alone


	2. Gintama

I just got the newest volume of xxxholic from the library, number 16. It's brand new. Like ultra new. So new it's practically shining in it's newness. IT'S SOOO BEAUTIFUL

GINTAMA

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"Do you really wish to know the answer?" Yuuko asked me, no doubt using some sort of jedi mind trick to make me doubt myself. She had a sort of melancholic, pitying look on her face, still staring at the spot where the blue box once was.

"If I say yes, I'll have to pay for it right?" I asked her hesitantly. I'm already practically her slave, I don't know what more I could give nor do I want to know.

"You'll find out either way, he is somewhat of a regular after all. But if you _must _know now then yes, you'll have to pay." Just as suspected. By the looks of this Doctor person, the price would probably be pretty high. His story would most likely be so depressing I'd want to kill myself anyhow.

"Forget I ever mentioned it." I groaned, rolling my eyes. I took another sip of my tea, taking in my surroundings, the intricate designs paper walls and door, the eccentric yet beautiful decor of the room. Where did she get all this stuff?

"Watanuki, would you mind taking this to the storage room?" I looked back to Yuuko. She held out a banana. A perfectly unbruised, yellow, and absolutely normal banana. I decided not to ask questions and took it from her. I opened the paper door and maru and moro lead me down a series of hallsways and down a flight of stairs into what looked like a junk room. Everything there was covered in a foot-thick layer of dust and cobwebs. Most of it was as meaningless as a dog collar, or an empty soda can. Others were as valuble as diamonds. I'm pretty sure even I saw a box full of nothing but wedding and engagement rings. Quickly, I put the banana on a random shelf and left.

* * *

Most of the day that followed was filled with cooking, cleaning, and pouring alchohol down my boss's throat. She had me wash the front door, cook up something for dinner, sweep the ceiling, make dessert and clean up the yard a little. In fact I was in the middle of doing so when the next customer/ victim appeared.

You can't believe how messy the yard was. It seems that she hadn't raked or weeded in centuries. Any plants that might've been planted before were dead or wilting, and anything that wasn't were overgrown weeds and were crowding out the very few survivors. It was like a freaking war, trying to clear them out. I was just finishing when I heard a voice from behind me.

"Hey." I turned around to see who the voice belonged to, finding a whitehaired man that looked as if he had just stepped out of a manga. He was half wearing a blue and white kimono over black pants and a black shirt, the wooden sword at his side did nothing to help his normality level either. "Where am I?"

"Japan?" I responded, unsure of how to answer.

"Really? Doesn't look like it." An expression of mild confusion crossed his face as he scanned his surroundings again. "One minute I doze off reading jump and the next I'm walking down the street in some weird place that claims to be Japan... It must be because of my natural perm..." He grumbled to himself, absent-mindedly picking his nose. Not a word he said made any sort of sense. Then again, I'm beginning to get used to nonsense.

"Oh... Well uh..."

"Watanuki! Watanuki! Born on april first!" The minions are here. Great... "Bring him in! Bring him in! Yuuko says to bring him in!" The children smile and sing in unison. The two run past me and start to drag the man inside. He puts up little resistance and lets them lead him.

"Uh... Alright then..." He muttered, his face barely changing expression-wise as he the twins dragged him in by his arms. I continued my work as soon after he went in. I finished only a few minutes later, then headed inside for further instruction.

"Just that? I find that hard to believe." I heard Yuuko pulling her newest victim into her clutches. I pressed my ear to the door of the room where she and her costumer were conversing. "There must be something else that I could do for you. Money maybe? Or a girl that you've had your eye on? Someone you want dead? There _has_ to be something other than _that_."

"All I want. Is..." My body tensed in anticipation, waiting for the forbidden wish that Yuuko was so reluctant to grant. "A god damn fan. Not an air conditioner, not a technologically sophisticated cooling system, Just. A. Fan." I slumped with disappointment, I was expecting something more... Ominous.

"Very well, but it comes with a price, of course." She said coolly. The white haired man groaned with irritation, as he were expecting the price for a mere fan to be more than he could afford. "I'll take... your belt."

"...That's it? Just the belt?" I could practically see Yuuko nod from behind the door. "You gotta be shitting me!"

"Watanuki! Get the fan, the white one in the corner." I didn't doubt that she knew I was there the whole time, and scanned the surrounding hall and sure enough, there was a plain white electronic fan in the far end of the hall. I walked over, picked it up and brought it into the room.

"I'll give you the fan once I get your belt." The man wasted no time in unfastening the simple black belt from his waist and handing it to Yuuko.

"Now, how do I get out of here?" He asked, taking the fan from me.

"Go backwards for three miles then bang your head against the first wall you see." She said calmly, getting up from her seat. "Watanuki, you can go home. Your work is done for..."

I had left the house before she finished her sentence.


End file.
